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How To Be Happy!
I was over at a friends birthday party, and I saw that she had
HAPPINESS NOW! Timless Wisdom for Feeling Good FAST
sitting out next to her bed. It’s apparently even been
featured on the Oprah show!
Forget buying that book. I’m here to tell YOU the
real deal: I’ll tell you how to be happy. And you will
save the $40 bucks for the book too:)
1. Stop Being a Dick
Seriously. Just stop. Even when other people are
being dicks. Just stop.
When you get a reaction from strangers, they’re not
actually reacting to you. They’re reacting to some
stereotype and set of assumptions about who you are
based on how you look, how you carry yourself, and the
kind of person they are expecting to bump into in their
current situation. So whatever it is they just did,
whatever it is that you think was some great offense to
your person, just let it go. It’s not worth escalating
the situation, because you aren’t going to get anything
positive out of the situation, and you’re just ruining
everyone’s time. So leave strangers alone.
As for everyone else, you’ve got even more reason to
stop being a dick. If someone says something that you
don’t like, yelling isn’t going to accomplish anything
except grating on everyone else around you. Oh, sure,
you may get them to shut up. You may even intimidate
them to admitting you’re right or taking back what they
said. But they didn’t mean it, and if they cared or had
the guts, they’d still be standing up to you. And as
soon as you leave the room or they think you won’t
notice, they’ll go back to being exactly they way they
were before you yelled at them. Congratulations, you’ve
done nothing by being a dick except make everyone regret
that you were invited to the party. So how about you
stop being a dick?
2. Stop Whining
Look, everything you might want to whine about falls
into one of two camps: either you can do something about
it, or you can’t. If you can do something about it, then
put the energy you were going to put into whining into
actually fixing it. If you can’t do anything about it,
then your whining isn’t going to do anything except
continue your cycle of self-loathing and make you a
general downer. Reality isn’t going to change because
you whined at it, so deal with the life you have, not
the one you want. Whining is counter-productive to
everything you want to accomplish. Save your energy and
use it to find a hobby instead.
3. Get Out, Get Some Exercise, Unplug, and Deal
with Real People
If you’re in your house all the time, surrounded by
your own hand-picked decorations and designs, and you go
out only when insulated by your iPod’s earphones and
something to be burying your eyes in, the it’s no
surprise you’re unhappy. Human beings are social
creatures. That means you will be a lot happier if you
socialize. And, y’know what’s really weird? Most people
won’t think you’re anything other than friendly if you
strike up a conversation.
We’re also creatures of nature and built for
movement. Being surrounded by neon and advertisements
has been scientifically proven to make you unhappy, so
get into nature and go for a walk. Discover a local
park. It’s a bigger deal than most people give it credit
for.
4. If People Are Treating You Like Crap, Then Let
Them Go
There are lots of people out there who aren’t
listening to #1 (”Don’t be a Dick”). They, for some
reason or another, are out to bully you, to
passive-aggressively control you, to tell you that you
are wrong, to use you as a punching bag (verbally or
otherwise) and to generally be a problem. So let them
go. Stop hanging out with them, and put plenty of
distance between you and them. No matter what that
person might say, you know that you don’t deserve what
they’re dishing out, so pick up your dignity and hit the
road.
There are 7 billion people on the world. You can
afford to not hang out with that one again.
5. Your Critics Are Always Right
If someone seriously says that you are some way — if
they tell you you’re embarrassing to be around, or if
they compare you to someone you hate, or if they say
you’re not a very nice person, or whatever — then you
are that way. You may not be that way in the core of
your being, and you may not want to be that way, and it
may be a surprise that you have come off that way, but
their perception of you is valid, and you need to accept
and deal with that. What did you do that made them think
that was true? Where are they coming from with their
experience of you that made it seem accurate? Ask
yourself (and them) these questions, and see if you can
take it as an opportunity for self-improvement.
Don’t do what most people do, which is to take it as
an attack that needs to be responded to with anger and
yelling. Then you’re just taking an opportunity to make
yourself better and replacing it with an opportunity to
hurt a your relationship with them.
Now, of course, you need to be sure they’re serious:
something said in the middle of a fight or said
flippantly doesn’t really qualify. So you need to be
sure they’re serious. But if your critic is serious,
then your critic is right.
6. Do Hard Stuff for a Change
For some reason, our society tries to ask as little
as possible from you. Don’t let it.
It’s hard to make a new friend. It’s hard to vest
yourself in a job, or in a project, and to really start
to care about it. It’s hard to fight for your career,
and to do what needs to be done to advance it. It’s hard
to get out of your comfort zone and experience things or
listen to people that are totally foreign. It’s hard to
demand your dignity, it’s hard to submit to humility,
and it’s hard to focus on self-improvement instead of
self-destruction.
But, if you do those things, you’ll be happier for
it. Take the hard road: that’s where the good stuff is.
7. Let Stuff Go/Suck It Up
Most things aren’t worth the effort we put into them.
We get angrier about them than they’re worth, we worry
more about them than they’re worth, and we generally
ruin ourselves over pittances. Let it go. Not a huge fan
of where people are going to lunch? Suck it up and go
with them anyway. Try something different. Still angry
about something someone said to you years ago? Let it
go: the reality is that they probably don’t even
remember it. Whatever it is that you’re all hung up on
that’s been ruining your decade, just let it go. It’s
seriously not worth the effort you’re putting into it.
Along this same vein: you can’t control everything,
so don’t try. Let it go. Have some confidence in
yourself: you’ll find a way to deal with it — whatever
“it” is — when you get to it. Human beings are
wonderfully adaptable creatures, and there have been
others who have found ways to deal with worse than you
will ever see.
So there you are. Hope you’re happy.
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