40 Things To Say When
You Snap At Work!
There are days when you reach beyond what you can take and snap at work.
Instead of saying something completely mundane and
un-impactful, here are a few good suggestions of what
you can say under those circumstances. If you are gonna
lose it, might as well make it a good one right?
1. I can see your point, but I still think youíre full
2. I donít know what your problem is, but Iíll bet
itís hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see youíve set aside this special time to
humiliate yourself in public.
5. Iím really easy to get along with once you people
learn to see it my way.
6. Iíll try being nicer if youíll try being smarter.
7. Iím out of my mind, but feel free to leave a
8. I donít work here. Iím a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I canít understand a
damn word youíre saying.
10. Ahhhh .. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us
11. I like you. You remind me of
myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just donít
give a damn.
14. Iím already visualizing the duct tape over your
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions
I had about you.
16. Thank you. Weíre all refreshed and challenged by
your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesnít mean
youíre an artist.
18. Any connections between your reality and mine is
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. Iím not being rude. Youíre just insignificant.
21. Itís a thankless job, but Iíve got a lot of Karma
to burn off
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isnít an office. Itís Hell with fluorescent
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most
of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you
31. Iím trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for whatís behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorderÖmy work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just
wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh, I get itÖlike humorÖbut different.
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